I.C.E.S.C.R.A.P.E.R.

In Case of Emergency: Solve Care Resist Assert Peace Empathy Resolve

Where have our heroes gone? Superman tossed his red cape and black eye mask for an Immigration Customs Enforcement {ICE) shirt and black ski mask. No longer a helper, he has turned to abducting men, women, and children and forcing them into jails prior to deportation. Some deported to countries they never set foot in. Some lawful United States citizens.

Separating families, treating humans like trash. Yet too weak to show their identity. How can we help? Enter the simple ice scraper. Yes, that plastic device used in northern areas to remove ice, the frozen water from car windows so folks can drive to work.

I tossed mine when I arrived in Florida from Maryland in the spring of 2007. Vowing to never need one again. Yet here I am recommending we all buy one for ourselves and each family member. If you can, buy some for neighbors, and buy first from a local mom and pop hardware store.

Time to digress, deviate from I.C.E. I am certain you can see my feelings on this delicate matter. The deployment of I.C.E. in recent months was unfounded, cruel and harmful. My main message here is how can I help? And not just for the people affected in this situation, but in general. And yet, we rarely ask those four little words. Why?

For me I believe it’s because if I ask and the request is out of my control have I let them down? Placed them in greater despair? Perhaps it would be better to say we have a shoulder, an ear and then offer active listening. Active listening is an acquired skill for most of us. Think about it—how often has someone talked to you and you immediately tune them out because you are too busy formulating your response. Then they pause, it becomes an awkward pause since you come out of your stupor to realize you have zero clue what they were expressing.

Active listening, give them time, to express and just listen. It is more difficult then it seems. Perhaps a timer can be used. Okay, not in everyday situations, but couples in a squabble could table their argument to the next day, kiss good night and get a good night’s sleep. Set a timer the next day, toss a coin for who goes first. It works.

How can I help then becomes let me listen, then asked, if needed, how can I help?